A Simply Sassy Creation: My Ramblings

My Ramblings

10:57 PM | Posted by Unknown | Edit Page

My Life As A Product Tester

So I belong to "The Cooking Club of America" and as a member we are sometimes offered products to test. Well this last product I got was the "Healthy Step Dressing Cruet". The concept of the cruet was a good one, however, the end result falls very short of what you'd expect after reading the directions to use the product. The cruet has 3 recipes printed on the side and those are nice. I like the recipes But once you get all your ingredients into the cruet and shake it well, you are supposed to squeeze the bottom to transfer the dressing in the bottom portion up through the straw and into the measuring cup at the top. Well if your recipe uses any herbs (and I always use fresh herbs, it just tastes so much better when one uses fresh herbs) they get caught in the straw that is supposed to transfer the dressing from the bottom to the measuring cup at the top. Then it's very difficult overall in getting the dressing up from the mixing portion to the measured area at the top. No matter how hard you squeeze at times it just doesn't work at all. Then when the dressing level gets a bit low in the bottom part it rarely works getting the dressing up the straw into the top part. If any dressing does go up the straw it usually squirts out of the little pouring spout or "v" on the lip. So you end up with dressing on the counter, on you, on the outside of the cruet.

Again, it was a great thought, but the design just doesn't support the ability to use the cruet in the way it was designed to be used. I don't recommend buying this product as it simply doesn't work.

This review is based upon my own experience with the Healthy Step Dressing Cruet and it's inability to work properly. Don't spend your money on this.
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Unfinished Mothers

by Callie Barker

Hello my precious friends. Some I know, some I've yet to know, and some, I'll never know. But you are all friends, nonetheless. Sometimes we get that connection with others and I truly hope that through this writing, and perhaps others, that we find a connection with each other via our hearts and our minds.

I read a FaceBook® post tonight by a friend that stated her frustration with other's trying to say they "....know how she feels..." when it comes to the loss of her child.

Now I don't know when that may have happened to you, what the circumstances were or even how old your child was. But I can understand that feeling, as a parent, of having your child taken from you. It doesn't matter what the age of the child or the circumstances or any of that. It only matters that your heart, as that baby's mother or father, is broken and will NEVER be fully healed. It's something you just know, deep inside. That the part of you that was that child's parent, the part that was to raise him, to teach him, to watch him grow and to help him learn to live in this world, still exists and always will. That part of you knows that you're in it for the long haul. That you have many, many years in which to introduce him to the world and to teach him how to live in it. You "know" you will spend a lifetime doing just that.

Then suddenly, just like that, it's over. Those once vibrant eyes close forever, and his sweet breath ceases to brush across your cheek. But in your heart of hearts that baby is a living, breathing soul and he goes on. That part of you that needs, yearns, wants to raise your baby, that precious life that came from your body, still lives on. There's no way to turn that off inside your heart, your soul, your head.

How do I know all of this? Here I sit, 40 yrs. later, still grieving, still yearning, still loving and still missing my beloved 2nd born. The one that was taken from me oh so many years ago.

Without warning and without reason he was gone. Oh I had the medical reason as to why, but that's not the "why" I wanted an answer to. I know he didn't do anything wrong, I was pretty sure I hadn't done anything (though I'll find many reasons to hold myself responsible for years). He was just gone, taken from me. I was left alone to try to figure out why, what, how, why, why, why. I don't know why. I will one day, and I choose to believe that, hell I have to believe that or I'll go insane. People try to find words of comfort, something to say to feel connected to me to make things better. They try to help ease your pain and make the hurt go away just a wee bit. But what they don't know or understand, what they can never know is there are no words that can do that. Ever. Yes, they've lost people too. An Aunt or a Cousin, maybe Grandparent, or, God forbid, a parent. What they don't know and can't understand, and never will, are there are no words to help ease the pain of the lost child. No consoling words exist in the human language. There is nothing anyone can say, ever, to make it "better". Nothing will, can, or does make us feel better.

Having said that, there are those that do understand, those that feel the pain of loss, that on-going grief. We never get to "finish" our job with that one that was taken. We are Unfinished Mothers©. It's a term I coined in 1979, 7 yrs. after my son, Bobby Joe, died at the age of 1 month 5 days. I was speaking at a meeting of "Survivng Mothers Of Babies Lost To SIDs". A group I started to try to help me learn to deal with my own grief. I had another son, Terry Wayne, my first born, who had just turned 1 yrs. old, that I still had to function for, to live for, to raise and to be his mother. No matter what else I had to learn to deal with, no matter what else life threw my way, I still had an obligation, a duty, a desire to raise my first born with all the love and care and happiness he deserved.

And so I did. One day at a time, 1 moment at a time. 1 chubby-cheeked, baby-faced toothless grin at a time. 1 sweet slobbery kiss at a time. 1 sleepy-eyed trusting smile at a time. Now he's on the verge of getting married and still the loss of my 2nd born son stabs through my heart. What would he have looked like? Would he have been as tall as his brother or maybe taller? Would their eyes still have that crystal blue gaze that matched so well when they were just babies ? Would that crooked smile still be there after all these years? Questions that have no answers and never will. They live only in my heart. Along with the pain, the yearning, the aching, the grieving. They live there still, they always will. I am a Mother, a very proud Mom, a Mama in time of need. But I am also an Unfinished Mom.

I do understand, all of you Unfinished Moms and Dads. I don't have to have the same experiences, the same circumstances that live on eternally for you. And you don't have the memories that I carry. But we share the loss. We share the broken heart. We share the pain.

I hope something, anything that I've have written her lets you know that you aren't alone in the world. There are millions of us bonded together by one single moment, one lifelong experience. We are bonded by that one single moment, when pain and heartache became our lifelong companion.

Know that you are loved and cared for by lots of people. Sometimes we just have to look around and then let them in. They are, after all, trying their best to help. Remember, WE have a common bond.

We are Unfinished Mothers.

Written by Callie Barker.

August 18, 2012

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